O, I would have killed!
I emceed the American Jewish Press Assocation awards banquet and reception Tuesday night at the Russell Senate Caucus Room on Capitol Hill. Emcee, right? So I had a whole monologue written, but then the timing went kaflooey, and by the time the Israeli ambassador spoke and the chicken came out of the kitchen, we ran out of time.
So here’s my monologue, minus some of the inside jokes.
I’m so proud there’s an American Jewish Press Association. It’s so impotant to give Jews the opportunity to work in the media.
And I love how forward-thinking the organizationation is, embracing new technologies and new media. Which you can see by the AJPA logo — which features a quill pen.
Apparently this is a step up from the previous logo, which had a stylus and lump of clay.
Of course, this is an industry whose single biggest news provider is called the “Jewish Telegraphic Agency.” They recently dropped “Telegraphic” from the name, which was a relief to members who never got used to that newfangled telegraph contraption.
I don’t mean to pick on the JTA, but you gotta love a news organization that features actual headlines like “Iowa Jews minimally affected by flooding.” The Midwest is under water, but the Jews are okay! Coming tomorrow: Why God is angry at the goyim!
That reminds me of the classic JTA headline: “Two Jews die in Turkish earthquake.” 15 THOUSAND people died in the quake, and JTA found the two dead Jews. What would they have written if they hadn’t? “Big quake narrowly misses Israel.”
JustASC is written by Andrew Silow-Carroll, Editor-in-Chief of the 
June 26th, 2008 at 11:39 pm
Hey, this is a blog! You can share the inside jokes.
June 27th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Okay, here’s one:
“We’re here on Capitol Hill, site of so many memorable inaugural addresses. Who can forget Abraham Lincoln urging us to heed the ‘better angels of our nature’? Our JFK saying, ‘Ask not what your country can do for you…”
And then there were the stirring words of AJPA’s incoming president, Elana Kahn-Oren, who said so beautifully today, “We should suck as much out of each other as we can.”
(Elana, of the Wisconsin Jewish Chronicle, actually said this in her acceptance speech. She was encouraging AJPA members to use its listserv toengage in joint problem-solving. I shared this joke with Elana, and she laughed.)
July 14th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Thanks Andy! That was great! You might have a new job for next year too. :)
July 14th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
I’m for the Jewish Telepathic Agency (at least I think I am), and absolutely love the American Jewish Fress Association, provided they serve corned beef for lunch.