JustASC

My column this week:

Yeah, yeah. I did the thrift thing. And you know what it got me? Nosebleeds from sitting in the cheap seats, radiation poisoning from hunkering too close to the Motorola, headaches from whacking my head on the doorframe of our tiny Corolla.

So watch my next move, America. We played by the rules, invested wisely, stayed out of debt, took a “certain pride” in finding a bargain. And where’d it get us after 20 years? Somewhere between 1986 and 1987.

But no more. The Silow-Carrolls are living large. Is that the delivery guy with our Limited Edition Sharp AQUOS large-screen LCD TV? Wheel it right in, and put it next to the massage chair. And yes, this is an Armani jacket, thanks for noticing.