Brides dance a hora after reaffirming their vows at Congregation B’nai Tikvah in North Brunswick.
Photos by Ben Gottesman
Four of the brides and grooms who had a second wedding ceremony at Congregation B’nai Tikvah in North Brunswick are, from left, Hope and Tom Peters, Renee and Steve Juro, Dorothy and Larry Cohen, and Adrienne and Bruce Rogove.
Rabbi Robert Wolkoff, left, and Cantor Bruce Rockman stand under the huppa at Congregation B’nai Tikvah as they prepare to remarry about 50 couples on Valentine’s Day.
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March 17, 2009
What started out as an innovative idea for a fund-raiser evolved into a “spiritual” celebration of love for about 50 married couples at Congregation B’nai Tikvah in North Brunswick.
All chose to “remarry” on Valentine’s Day, reaffirming their affection and commitment in a ceremony conducted by Rabbi Robert Wolkoff, who performed the Saturday evening ceremonies with Cantor Bruce Rockman.
What began as an idea for a party evolved into something much deeper, Wolkoff said.
“It started out as something quite informal, but as it developed it became clear people were really passionate about the spiritual aspect of their continuing to love each other,” said the rabbi. “There was a resonance as they thought about the way they felt about each other when they originally got married. One of the nice things about this was that people were really very expressive about their depth of emotion.”
The couples were asked to come in their wedding dresses and tuxedos, while others came as bridesmaids. They stood together under a huge huppa for the joint ceremony, reciting blessings.
Wolkoff read from a ketuba he prepared for the ceremony.
“When we recited those blessings, it was done very seriously,” said Wolkoff. “People took very seriously the love they still felt for each other no matter how many years it had been.”
A reception followed with dinner and dancing, including lifting the brides and grooms on chairs in a lively hora. There were also games, including “a newlywed game,” and posing for traditional wedding photos.
Neither Rockoff nor his congregation had qualms about marking Valentine’s Day in the synagogue, despite its roots as a day in honor of early Christian martyrs.
“This is a day in American pop culture associated with love and the fact that it is St. Valentine’s Day means nothing to anyone in my congregation,” he explained. “We in B’nai Tikvah are very confident about our sense of Jewish identity.”
Wolkoff differentiated between Valentine’s Day and Halloween, which also has Christian origins.
“Halloween is associated with ghosts and goblins, which are very un-Jewish things,” he said. “But, what is not Jewish about love?”
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