by Johanna Ginsberg
NJJN Staff Writer

April 30, 2009

The parents of a bipolar man from South Orange who took his own life just before Passover are urging awareness of the stigma surrounding mental health in hopes of sparing another family their grief.

“In the end, we think what killed Ben wasn’t the disease; it was the stigma around the disease and around mental illness generally,” said Dan Katz, speaking at the April 8 funeral for his son Benjamin, 23.

In a telephone interview with NJ Jewish News two weeks later, Katz said his son was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 12, although Dan and his wife, Elaine, could see he had problems by the time he was about eight years old.

A student at County College of Morris, Ben attended the Solomon Schechter Day School of Essex and Union through ninth grade and graduated from Columbia High School in Maplewood.

The Katzes are members of Congregation Beth El in South Orange.

Eulogizing his son at the funeral, Dan Katz said Ben felt the “stigma” attached to mental illness acutely.

“Throughout his life, Ben wanted what every child wants: He just wanted to be like everyone else. But he couldn’t be like everyone else. He needed some extra help. He needed counseling, tutors, to be part of a program for kids with learning disabilities.

“But in his view, to accept these tools would be to admit that you’re different, even a failure. It would mark him as ‘mentally ill.’ Had he embraced the help that everyone around him wanted him to have, he could have realized his potential. But he rejected help because he didn’t want to be branded with the stigma of mental illness.”

‘An unhappy kid’

When he was first diagnosed, Ben was treated with talk therapy alone; shortly after his bar mitzva, he was also treated with drugs.

“It took a long time to find the right cocktail of medicine that worked, especially because Ben was going through puberty, and his body was constantly changing,” his father told NJJN. “We were constantly evaluating him. At 20, he was finally stable.”

Despite his having remained stable the last few years before his death, Ben’s suicide did not come as a complete shock to his parents.

“He was an unhappy kid,” his father explained in the interview. “You could see he was unhappy.” He had attempted suicide twice before and spoke about it often, said his father. “It was a struggle to keep him alive.”

In addition to his parents, Ben is survived by his brother Gabriel, 20, a student at the New School in Manhattan.

The Katz family cited three organizations that they believe helped them and Ben, and that they feel are working to erase the stigma around mental health:

• JESPY House, a Jewish-run facility for the developmentally disabled in South Orange, where Ben was a client — he lived in his own apartment in South Orange, but enjoyed the socializing opportunities JESPY provided — and where Elaine Katz sits on the board.
• The Kessler Foundation, where Elaine Katz is vice president for grant programs and special initiatives. The West Orange-based foundation works to improve the quality of life for people with disabilities through research, education, and community programs.
• The Mental Health Association in New Jersey, whose board Dan Katz recently joined and which helps people with mental illness achieve their full potential, free from stigma.

“If we can overcome or reduce the stigma, maybe people with mental illness will be more receptive and accepting of treatment,” said Dan.

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