Camp counselor Jared Sharp, 23, says it helps to remember just how he felt when he was the age of the youngsters he is now supervising.
Photos by Elaine Durbach
July 10, 2008
Even for the most loving of parents, there is a sense of relief as they hand their kids over to others to keep them safe and happy through the long days of summer.
But how do camps do it? In school, there are clearly defined boundaries; in camp, the rules are far vaguer and, with all the play and excitement, things can get pretty boisterous.
Staff and counselors at the YM-YWHA of Union County, which enrolls some 500 campers between the ages of two and a half and 15, say the challenges vary by age, but the general principles do not.
“At school, our goal is to make them learn; at camp, our goal is to make them happy,” said Stacy Rubinstein, codirector of the Kinder Camp for preschoolers at the Y and — like many of the counselors — a teacher. “If it takes the offer of an ice pop to calm them down, that’s fine, or the chance to do something else that they want to do — that’s okay too.”
Pessie Friedman, longtime leader of the Y’s teen girls’ group, said discipline isn’t a problem for one simple reason: “We’re doing things they want to do, so they don’t want to miss out on anything.”
Friedman’s concern isn’t with deliberate misbehavior but with daydreamers who might get left behind on an outing. She sees to it that they are grouped with more alert girls — and, so far in her dozen-plus years as a counselor — no one has been left behind.
Most misbehavior at camp involves bullying or rough play. When punishment is called for, it starts with a brief time out — usually no more than five minutes. As one counselor said, that might seem quick to an adult, but to a little kid itching to get back in the action, it can feel like an eternity.
More serious infractions lead to a phone call to parents, and possibly a day of suspension from camp. Over the years, very few youngsters have had more than one of the latter.
Program director Jani Jonas said that repeat problems usually indicate a more serious behavioral problem and might involve a child being removed from the camp altogether. As at every camp, there are children taking medication — and the staff work closely with the parents to maintain a daytime dosing schedule.
At the Y, particularly good behavior earns “camp dollars,” shown off here by, from left, camp directors Stacy Rubinstein and Sandy Newman and program director Jani Jonas.
The Y offers the younger kids “camp dollars” for particularly good behavior. In the camp office there is a big drawer with a treasure trove of trinkets the kids can purchase with those dollars — pencils, necklaces, tricks, and the like. Though some counselors said they think good behavior should be expected and not specially rewarded, most said the kids love the big yellow vouchers and get a kick out of earning them.
As Jonas put it, the preference is for “positive reinforcement rather than punishment.”
“You have to come from a place of love, not anger,” said Rabbi Steve Hirschey, chatting in the shaded patio behind the Y. He and Randi Beil are codirectors of the Chaverim camp group for boys in the lower grades. He is dean of students at Rae Kushner Yeshiva High School in Livingston and has five children of his own. Beil teaches at the Jewish Educational Center and has two grown kids.
Both said they treat their campers the way they treat their own offspring — expecting the best of them regardless of any past problems. A key to that can be taking time out themselves, to cool down their own emotions before applying discipline.
Consequences
Much as he emphasizes patience, Hirschey is also very clear that a prompt, clear response to infractions is better than vague, repetitive reminders.
“That’s without a doubt,” he said. “All the research confirms it. The children need to know their behavior has consequences.”
As if to provide a test case, in the middle of one discussion, a teen counselor brought in a kid who had just done his best to mug another for his camp dollars. He had also wrestled someone to the floor, and tossed paper out the bus window. A time out was definitely in the cards, but — despite the staff’s tendency not to check records — there was a reminder that this little one had a recently arrived new sibling, and might need a little extra understanding.
The director of the teen travel camp, Doug Mattoon, another teacher, said he uses the same approach he employs at school: “I give the kids a chance to get to know me. You get a sense of who you can kid and who can kid with you. That way we can communicate as human beings. They understand what’s okay with me and what isn’t, and what I expect of them.”
Sara Leah Glazer, 21, of Elizabeth was a camper at the Y from toddlerhood until her early teens, when she became a counselor at a couple of different camps. Being close in age to the campers stood her in good stead, she said, as did the fact that she has seven older siblings and many nieces and nephews — 25, in fact.
“I think it gave me an extra sensitivity — to understand when kids get upset or their feelings are hurt. Sometimes it might seem petty, but you never minimize what they’re going through. You try to understand what they’re feeling.”
She did that even with kids accused of bullying. “I’m sure it didn’t always work, but rather than make them feel bad, I’d try to show them that they had a lot of power, and they could use that power positively, to make other people feel good. And then with the one who was being attacked, even if it seemed that maybe they were being a bit ridiculous, you’d want them to feel that you were on their side — that you understood, and that they weren’t alone.”
Adam, 14, said he loves the easygoing atmosphere of the Y’s teen travel camp.
“We’re sort of like balloons,” he said. “At school, they squeeze us into a tighter and tighter box until we’re desperate to get out — or burst. At camp, the box is much looser, so there’s no need to push back. There’s room just to be ourselves, so everybody pretty much behaves.”
Rick Recht returns to rock the rafters
Photo by Jeff Hirsch
Of all the times at camp when loud noise is actively encouraged, Rick Recht’s concerts are possibly the loudest — but also the most harmonious. The celebrated rock musician — as he has done in the past — will be spending the day at the Jewish Community Center of Central New Jersey’s Camp Yachad on Wednesday, July 16, teaching songs and singing for the youngsters. In the evening, they get to show off their musical talent performing with him at a concert open to the whole family (and other members of the community).
Recht, who performs at as many as 150 Jewish camps each summer, blends his original compositions with traditional Jewish music, rock ’n’ roll, and gospel rhythms. In the last few years he has also performed at national conventions for youth leaders, cantors, educators, and rabbis.
“The stage is definitely our home,” says Recht. “The energy and voices of the audiences, whether they’re little kids, teens, or adults, is indescribable. That’s the magic of Jewish music — the interaction, the singing, the dancing, and the powerful community connection. For me, it’s a dream come true to create and share in this extraordinary environment on a daily basis.”
He is the artist in residence at United Hebrew Congregation in St. Louis, a gig that enables him to spend time with his wife, Elisa, and their sons, six-year-old Kobi and three-year-old Tal.
Tickets for the July 16 concert, at 7 p.m., are $12 in advance, $15 at the door. For more information, contact Michele Dreiblatt at mdreiblatt@jccnj.org or 908-889-8800, ext. 205, or buy tickets on-line at www.jccnj.org.
--TOP--
Comment: comments@njjewishnews.com
