by Elaine Durbach
NJJN Bureau Chief/Central

August 21, 2008

When Rabbi Howard Jachter marries a couple, he requires that they sign the prenuptial agreement drawn up by the Orthodox Rabbinical Council of America.

Jachter’s aim is to save women from the heartbreak of the aguna — a “chained wife” stuck in matrimonial limbo by a husband’s refusal to give or receive a get, a Jewish divorce document.

As chair of the RCA’s Agunah Prevention and Resolution Committee, Jachter’s goal is to expand the use of its prenuptial contract, which enables religious judges to assist agunot in receiving a get.

As judge and get administrator on the Beth Din, or Rabbinical Court, of Elizabeth, headed by Rabbi Elazar Teitz of the Jewish Educational Center, Jachter supervises Jewish divorces in an area that reaches from Cherry Hill to Stamford, Conn., taking in Edison, Whippany, Livingston, and Teaneck.

In the 15 years that he has been a get administrator, he has handled over 2,000 religious divorces and has seen the full value of the RCA contract.

‘I think the word is spreading. Many people come to the court because they don’t want to have a restriction when it comes to remarriage.’

“Since it was introduced 1992, there has not been one couple who had the prenuptial contract who refused to give or receive a get after the civil divorce had been issued,” he said.

For those without the contract, the situation can be very different. “Even if a husband is instructed by a rabbi to give a get, absent such a contractual agreement, he can ignore that,” Jachter said.

In Israel, Orthodox rabbis will not perform a marriage for previously married people unless they have had a religious divorce. In the United States, Jachter said, some rabbis require it; others don’t. The consequences for a man are not all that dire; if he remarries and has children, as long as his new wife was free to marry, their children are regarded as legitimate under Jewish law.

But if a woman has children without obtaining a get from her previous husband, her children are regarded as mamzerim, bastards.

In recent years, there has been a growing outcry about the predicament of the agunot who are unable to marry, and husbands who withhold the get out of spite, or to extort money, or to pressure their wives in custody battles. The RCA contract was established in response to demands that the rabbinical authorities find a way to resolve that situation.

Jachter, who lives in Teaneck, wears many hats. He serves part-time at the Sephardi Congregation of Teaneck, where he used to be the full-time religious leader, and he teaches at the Torah Academy of Bergen County. He is also the author of Gray Matter, a study of Halacha. He has published two volumes under that title and is working on a third.

But his primary drive, he said, is to do what he can to facilitate Jewish marriage and mitigate the pain of ugly divorces.

‘The worst problem’

Growing up in Brooklyn in a family that included observant and nonobservant members, Jachter was acutely aware of the barriers that could arise from different levels of observance. “It was always important to me that they should be close and be able to get along,” he said of the observant and non-observant relatives. “The worst problem would be if they were not able to marry each other” due to questions of marital status.

That concern was sharpened by the plight of a girl he dated briefly. Her mother — either because she couldn’t obtain one or didn’t understand its importance — had not received a get when her previous marriage ended. That made this daughter from her second marriage illegitimate in Jewish terms. It counted out the girl’s chances of marrying an observant man.

“She and I dated only a couple of times. I’m married to someone else and we’re expecting our fifth child,” Jachter said. “But she had become observant, and for her it was a tragedy. At that point, I knew I had to do something about this. I’d been studying situations like this but it had all been theoretical. After that, it became very real for me.”

Jachter’s wife, Malca, often works with him, joining the team he assembles to handle the get process, to make it less awkward for the women involved.

“We do everything we can to make people feel comfortable, whether they are observant or not,” he said. “There are no blessings they have to say, and there is no dress requirement, though I prefer a man to wear a kipa. We will even meet in the parking lot of a nonkosher restaurant or a Barnes and Noble, if necessary, for the get process.”

It is also not necessary for the couple to appear together, and about a third choose to go through the procedure separately.

The process costs around $500 if it takes place within the five boroughs of New York City, $525 if beyond. If a couple can’t afford that, other arrangements can be made. “Finance should never be a reason not to do it,” he said.

In recent years, Jachter has handled an average of 150 divorces a year, with the number climbing steadily. Over 80 percent of those couples are not observant. “I think the word is spreading,” he said. “Many people come to the court because they don’t want to have a restriction when it comes to remarriage.”

Also, as during previous wartimes, many Jewish soldiers heading off to serve in Iraq or Afghanistan have signed provisional gets, to free their wives should they be lost in action with no confirmation of death — a situation that would create an aguna.

Jachter said there are many misconceptions about Jewish divorce. One of the most prevalent is that the husband holds all the power. Jachter pointed out that women have the right to refuse to receive a get, just as they are not obliged to accept a man’s marital vow.

As to why far fewer women obstruct the divorce process, he turned to psychology for an answer. “Women are less inclined to go to the extremes,” he said. “Intuitively they understand what is needed to avoid conflict.”

Working with recalcitrant spouses — both men and women — Jachter said, “I tell them they are playing a very dangerous game. Maybe not now, but perhaps two years down the road, what if they want to marry, and their spouse decides to have their revenge? That point convinces a lot of women and men.”

For more information on the RCA prenuptial contract or to arrange a get, contact Jachter at hmjachter@msn.com or at 201-837-1929.

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