by Debra Rubin
NJJN Bureau Chief/Middlesex

August 26, 2008

When East Brunswick resident Randi Cairns went to Israel at age 17 as a Bronfman Youth Fellow, she couldn’t have known how 21 years later that trip would benefit American military families across the state.

“The idea was to gather bright, socially involved Jewish kids from the U.S. and Canada from a broad spectrum of backgrounds so they could talk to each other amid the fabulous landscape of Israel,” said Cairns. “It has always been the intention of the program that it not be a one-summer experience and that we continue to network with each other.”

It was through the venture fund of that network, the Bronfman Youth Fellow Alumni, that Cairns received a grant to secure public charity status for the organization she founded, Home Front Hearts.

The nonprofit assists the families — particularly members of the National Guard or Reserves — left behind when a member of the military is deployed to Afghanistan or Iraq.

“In addition to offering support and providing information, part of what we’re trying to do is match people all across the state in need of services,” explained Cairns. “If a business or individual can provide a service, we will find a deserving military family who could use that help.

“We’ve started in central Jersey because that’s my source, but hopefully we will soon replicate those services across the state.”

Cairns started her organization as a result of her own experience. Her husband, Capt. Ian Cairns, has been stationed with the National Guard in Afghanistan since December. Before that, he spent three months in training at Fort Riley, Kan., leaving behind his wife and four children, now ages three to 13.

“We hope to get him back next month,” said Cairns.

This is Capt. Cairns’ third deployment; he previously was sent to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina and spent a year in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Unique challenges

Families like theirs are left to deal with loss of income, absent parents, and lack of a support system. Compounding their problems is the invisibility military families often experience in their suburban communities.

“If you’re in the regular military, you generally live on a base and have the support of other families and services around you,” said Randi Cairns. “If you live in a town like East Brunswick, it’s not that folks want to ignore you or not be supportive; they just don’t know you’re there. Most [military] families don’t know where to turn for help.”

And while single-parent families often struggle, military spouses face unique challenges.

“People say to me all the time, ‘What’s the big deal? There are lots of single parents,’” said Cairns. “Not to diminish single parents, but other single parents don’t have to watch the news every night and see the carnage and worry about a loved one fighting overseas or have their kids crying all night for daddy.”

And then there are the financial and bureaucratic burdens.

For example, her own children had been covered under her employer’s heath plan. However, when her responsibilities at home forced her to leave her job in the nonprofit sector after more than 20 years, her family switched to military insurance.

“But a lot of doctors here don’t take military insurance,” she said, which is why the organization will help to find such medical practitioners.

Now Cairns is working full-time on her master’s degree in human services and is involved in starting a nonprofit freelance business. She is also striving to expand the outreach of Home Front Hearts and conducting speaking engagements for the organization. The challenges mount.

Even small things can present obstacles, she said. Although she has always been responsible for cutting the grass, for example, it was Ian who watched the children while she did so. “My lawn actually grew to be five-feet high this summer,” she laughed.

But that leads to her point — financial donations are great, but equally important are people willing to give their time and services to help a military family.

In the case of her lawn-cutting crisis, the owner of a landscaping company could donate a monthly mowing. Other examples include a local restaurant donating a meal to a deserving military family or a salon or spa presenting a gift certificate to a stressed-out military wife.

Contractors can offer home repair services while a synagogue might offer a free or discounted membership to a struggling family. An individual who likes to cook might prepare an occasional meal.

“What you have to offer is limited only by your imagination,” Cairns said.

At the same time, the nonprofit status secured with the help of Bronfman Youth Fellow Alumni means she gladly accepts financial donations.

“I am still involved with the Bronfman program,” said Cairns. “I have to say, a lot of alumni are pretty wonderful people. I feel inadequate in comparison. They are real movers and shakers in their communities and world so I am honored they are supporting my efforts.”

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