Federation vice-president-for-life Sol Kramer, left, talks with federation executive vice president Stanley Stone at the annual Pacesetter donor event.
October 2, 2008
If parents would do just this one thing — reward their children for acts of kindness more than they reward them for academic achievement or sports prowess or cleaning their rooms — the world would be a better place, according to Rabbi Joseph Telushkin.
The Torah scholar and author, as casual and down to earth as any other parent in the room, made that point as he addressed major donors at the annual Pacesetter Event on Sept. 23.
The gathering, the opening salvo of the Jewish Federation of Central New Jersey’s 2009 campaign, was held at the Westfield home of federation president Gerry Cantor and his wife, Dr. Dorothy Cantor.
Probably best known for his book Jewish Literacy: The Most Important Things To Know About the Jewish Religion, its People and its History, Telushkin is also a playwright and novelist who has written for television.
‘The answer, as ever, lies in our coming together as a community.’
Ahead of the High Holy Days, he spoke to the Pacesetters about judgment — specifically, four of the questions cited in the Talmud (Shabbat 31a) as those that are asked when people come before the heavenly court for judgment.
Telushkin said the first query — as to whether one has conducted one’s business affairs with honesty — features in Jewish humor and in anti-Semitic stereotypes because while Jews take their commitment to family and education for granted, honesty hasn’t always been quite such a clear priority.
After that comes the question: “Did you set aside time to study Torah?” Without that, he said, Jews have nothing to pass on. To underline that necessity, he challenged the audience to recite the Ten Commandments, a feat that came easily to just a few in the room. As he pointed out, they are less well known and less obvious in their meaning than one might assume.
The third question is, “Did you try to have a family?” Aside from the importance of sustaining the Jewish people, Telushkin opened up the issue to take in the importance of love and real attentiveness between spouses, and that key point for him — of raising a family that “does kind things.”
The final question: “Did you hope for and try to bring about the world’s redemption?”
That, Telushkin said, more than any other commandment, “occupies a unique place in Jewish life.” He related the tale of the man who observed a situation of terrible suffering and demanded why God had not sent help. He was told, “He did; he sent you.”
Both federation president Gerry Cantor, left, and financial resources development chair Julie Singer echoed the theme of kindness stressed by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, keynote speaker at the annual Pacesetter event.
Photos by Elaine Durbach
Tying the evening’s purpose to the current climate, he said good deeds and charity are one’s only wealth. If the community follows these precepts, he said, “we won’t be worried about Jewish survival. We will be too busy thriving.”
Kindness and generosity were central to the evening. With a pervasive and often remarked upon awareness of the tough economic climate, almost all those who stepped forward to state their pledges announced an increase over last year’s.
The largest donation of the evening sustained the level from last year, and the remaining donations averaged a 14 percent increase. The total for the evening was $1.7 million.
Amy Cooper, the federation’s associate executive vice president and director of financial resource development, said she had feared that there would be a decrease, and she was very moved by the response. “This is an extraordinary community,” she said.
Event chair Irwin Fisch, who is also the campaign’s major gifts chair, referred to the Jewish community’s history of helping — including the rescue of Soviet Jewry, then the Jews of Ethiopia, and, most recently, 200 from war-torn Georgia. He added that “this boy” — himself, in World War II Europe — was helped by Jewish agencies.
Telushkin asked how, with rising prices and unemployment and a 35 percent increase in financial aid requests, the community could be sure it would be able to honor its commitments. “The answer, as ever, lies in our coming together as a community,” he said.
Julie Singer, chair of financial resource development, presided over the statement of pledges. She said Telushkin’s advice about kindness has become a guiding principle in her family.
She went on to say, “We all know these are difficult times. It’s been a tough year, but we have to do the best we can for our families here and abroad.”
She expressed her appreciation for the fellowship of the people gathered at the event: “Beyond our nuclear families, this group of people — with their practice of tikun olam — has taken that idea to another whole level of family,” she said.
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