Moving daze

A new town, a new school — and a new way of thinking about change

April 13, 2010

NU Magazine – April 2010

I always felt sympathy for teens who have to move in the middle of high school. Then I became one of the people I felt bad for.

I’m a sophomore at Watchung Hills Regional High School. Never did I expect to be in this place. I used to live in Millburn, starting with elementary school and going all the way to freshman year.

The first time my parents approached me with the idea of moving I was shocked and completely overwhelmed, and filled with feelings of grief. Being a lifelong member of the Millburn community had always made me feel deeply rooted to my hometown. The idea of living anywhere else seemed unreal.

The security I had always felt and my sense of control were lost. The house I grew up in, my five best friends, the familiar spots in downtown, and the school I had finally felt fully adjusted to would no longer be a part of my daily life.

As the school year drew to an end, we informed friends and family, who were unable to believe it, until the “For Sale” sign went up. I tried to get past my despair by thinking of all the positives: a bigger house, meeting new people. I hoped my curiosity would numb my sadness.

I knew moving would affect my two sisters, but I also knew it would have the greatest impact on me. My older sister, Julie, was leaving for Syracuse University in the fall. My younger sister, Abby, would start middle school and have new schoolmates anyway.

After my family’s move was official, I found myself feeling that everything I had done up until the move had been insignificant and pointless. I felt as though the strong bonds and countless memories with my friends would be forgotten.

As summer approached, I tried desperately to ignore my doubts and make the best of my situation.

I went to Costa Rica on a community service mission for four weeks and made lifelong friends. I felt more confident about a new school and it helped cushion the blow of the move.

When I came home at the end of July, I spent the rest of the summer with my old friends. I also met someone from my new town. Knowing one person from Warren made me feel less nervous. And she graciously introduced me to all her friends on my first day, who walked me to all my classes.

I’m happy to say I’ve adapted. I can confidently say the move was not as hard as I expected. There were days I wanted to give up and break down, but my initial homesickness has lessened considerably.

Warren is only 20 minutes from Millburn and I can go back and visit weekly. I’ve stayed best friends with my old crowd.

The move taught me that change is not as damaging as I thought. Change didn’t take away my friends, my memories, or even my familiar places in Millburn.

All change did was bring me to a new chapter in my life, with a new set of memories.

I will always cherish my 15 years in Millburn. But my dread of moving has been tempered by actual experience, and shown me the good that can come with change.

Stephanie Ingber, 16, attends Watchung Regional High School and is a member of Nu’s teen board.