Last week we met with the caterer for Skater’s bar mitzvah next spring. Yes, indeedy, we are only a year out from Big Girl’s big event, and we have to start in on the next one. 
Skater’s kiddush and party will be smaller in scale than our first one, because he wants to go to Israel for his bar mitzvah (which, because of timing, will be his “second” bar mitzvah, to take place in June after school lets out). At first I wanted to keep the Stateside celebration to just family and maybe take a few of his friends to a baseball game or something else fun, but it was DB who didn’t want him to feel shortchanged. So a nice kiddush and a kids’ party on Sunday it is.
In a way, it’s easier of course to plan a “smaller” gathering. But it’s harder, on the other hand, to make a guest list for a smaller gathering. My heart still wants to include everyone we did the first time, but logic will have to reign me in at some point.
How would you/did you handle it?
2 Comments
I think you should take a cue from the movie “Keeping Up With the Steins”. Having just made a Bar Mitzvah for my twin boys, you should keep it to what means most in our tradition. Teaching the child that it is about tradition and family is important here, not WHAT KIND OF PARTY SHOULD I MAKE?
Joanne, thanks for writing in. I loved Keeping Up With the Steins – are you saying we should hire Neil Diamond to sing? My husband would faint with delight!! I’m calling his agent right now!
Seriously, I was talking about the party because the actual service and the study leading up to it is a given. Our cantor said our son should start lessons nine months before the date, and my son’s response was to ask if he could start the lessons early; not because he’s nervous, but because he’s that excited.
For my daughter’s bat mitzvah, the Torah readers were two grandpas, Dad, two cousins, and one of my best friends. I think the family and tradition lesson was built in.
We are a pretty committed Jewish family – I hope you’ll take the time to read a few more posts and I think you’ll come to the same conclusion.