Well, the invitations are in the mail – and we already got back one return envelope. The problem is that it came the very day after it was mailed, wasn’t sealed, and didn’t have anything in it! Which means (to me) an envelope wasn’t sealed tight, opened, and the contents came out. So now I have to wait to see who doesn’t respond, then find out who never got their invite, or at the least never got a return envelope inside.
So as we slouch toward Bethlehem (a Yeats reference my old editor David used to love, I mean love) Skater came up with the idea that he should start pre-writing his thank you notes. Never mind that he has yet to receive a single gift. I said it was not needed and didn’t think much about it except to put it as a Facebook status.
I was surprised to find hours later that several people thought it was a great idea, or that at least he could prewrite the envelopes. While that part I can get behind, I can’t see writing notes for gifts yet to materialize.
To me, the structure of the bar/bat mitzvah thank you note is thus:
Dear Loved One or Friend or My Parent’s Co-worker whom I don’t remember meeting (names spelled correctly!), Thank you so much for the XX (be specific). I like it because YY. (Add sentence personalizing the note: glad you were there, sorry you couldn’t be there, I had so much fun dancing with you, etc.) Love, Skater
Therefore, “Thanks for the thoughtful gift” becomes thoughtless when written before the item arrives. And who knows if it really was thoughtful? What do you think?
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Having just made a very last minute Bar Mitzvah party (because he wasn’t sure he wanted that much attention!) with the help of a lot of women in my community, I feel qualified to say that I understand Skater’s desire to get at least part of the task out of the way. It becomes a chore once the glow of the big event wears off. The biggest problem I see with pre-addressing envelopes for thank you gifts is this: What if the person you expect a gift from, doesn’t actually give one? (for whatever reason!) I’m afraid your son would be disappointed at best or very hurt at the worst.
So I decided that he could address a few envelopes to family members. He is so cute and so excited to do it. I told him to remember feeling this way when he gets backed up writing them and has to finish 3-5 each night!